Oh, No He Didn't

I hear all kinds of stories from women about the faux pas of men on dates, usually entailing common mistakes like - he didn't open her door or he ordered his meal before she did. Irritating, disappointing, but not surprising.

The Oh, No He Didn't posts on my blog are going to include only those stories which surprise and shock even me, the dating columnist who's heard it all.

To get it started I'm going to share a story from a good friend of mine. She and one of her girlfriends met a nice guy at my book launch party. He was fun, charming, and eager to make a good impression. He invited them to his place later in the week for a home-cooked meal and they happily accepted.

Late in the night I was introduced to this kind soul and was delighted to hear of the impending "double date," (he planned to have one of his buddies join them for dinner). I challenged him by asking if he was going to cook something impressive. He smiled and assured me that he was aiming to please.

A few days later I ran into my girlfriend who said, "Girl, have I got a story for you." I, of course, was all ears.

The short version is this: His apartment was so dirty that the girls had to wipe the counters and sweep the floors just to feel comfortable. Their "impressive" meal turned out to be store-bought chicken over a bed of-are you ready for this-Ramen Noodles. And if that wasn't bad enough, his friend never showed.

Now, I'm not knocking 10 cent a pack Ramen noodles, I'm just saying it may not have been the best thing to serve when trying to impress two ladies.

Guys, if you invite a woman over to your place for a meal, first - clean up, and second, serve something decent. If you're not a good cook, order take-out, put it on a plate, pile a few pots and pans in the sink, and pass it off as home-cooked. She'll be glad you did.

And ladies, the next time you're feeling sorry for yourself because your date didn't pull your chair out for you at a five-star restauarnt , remember this story, count your blessings and order the lobster.

Jula Jane